


Soon

by pistol_red



Category: Teletubbies - Fandom
Genre: Apocalypse, Crack, Gen, Science Experiments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-15
Updated: 2013-04-15
Packaged: 2017-12-08 14:09:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/762216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pistol_red/pseuds/pistol_red
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The teletubbies, products of sick government experimentation, have reached their teenage stage, and with that hit all the rebellion, stupidity and cannibalism that comes with it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Soon

**Author's Note:**

> Oh god don't read this.

1\. 

Dipsy had had it. Enough was enough. For too long had he been held under the oppressive thumb of the The Man. It was time to strike back, and he needed the help of his fellow teletubbies to do it. And all it took, was a little convincing. They may be watching him, but he had the answer to that: talking quietly. Their speakers actually sucked lots.

2.

Laa-Laa danced to tunes nobody heard but her. Magical, delightful tunes, from elegant waltzes to harsh heavy metal pieces that flew in and out of her head at top speed. So naturally, Dipsy had decided to hide behind a large potted plant while Laa-Laa danced a beautiful rendition of one of Odette's gorgeous dance pieces from Swan Lake while he bellowed out in a charming if not makeshift melody, "FIGHT BACK AGAINST THE MA-AN. HE NEED NOT EN-SLAVE-AVE US! BELIEVE! BELIEVE!"

Laa-Laa spun around, "Dipsy?" 

Dammit. Laa-Laa was a lot craftier than Dipsy had expected. He contemplated his failings in reading her psyche properly as he slowly emerged from behind the potted plant that only really covered half his legs in the first place.

"Laa-Laa, follow me and you can dance upon the graves of your enemies." Dipsy had decided to take the route of honesty is the best policy here.

Laa-Laa cocked her head to the side, "You know I would never leave Po and Tinky Winky! Who would track Po down after she got lost in the mountains and there were bears!" There were no bears or mountains in the labs but Dipsy new that Laa-Laa was a dreamer and so he said nothing in response to that.

What he did think was: dammit, yet again, he had forgotten about Laa-Laa's mothering instincts towards them. "They'd come with us, duh," he said hurriedly, I mean really, who did Laa-Laa think he was? He'd never abandon Po and Tinky Winky to their cruel overlords who lacked all mercy and warmth within their hearts.

Laa-Laa looked at him, contemplative, "You know we must have a nurturing environment for Po, she's still young."

Dipsy fully agreed. "I have a large, floppy hat just for this purpose," he shared with Laa-Laa, "For Po to wear when we slaughter our oppressors. The brim is very large and will flop into her line of vision." It was a great plan Dipsy thought. He was very proud of it. 

Laa-Laa seemed to agree as she threw her arms up in happiness and let out a cheerful scream that would, in the future, be known throughout the world as The Wail of Agony and Anguish, the sound people would hear only if they were tortured in the next few moments by a large yellow shaped monster with dead eyes and wielding a chainsaw, its dancing body silhouetted in the light of the full moon. 

3.

Tinky Winky's only response to Dispy proposition of break out, mass slaughter and a night of kinky sex was to simply smile, lean in closer to Dipsy and whisper, "Soon."

4.

"Bazooka!" Po had smiled, gliding past Dipsy on her scooter. She was relentless, the only way Dipsy was getting 100% of her support was if he gave her a bazooka. Dipsy had endless arguments with Laa-Laa about this and eventually they came to the conclusion that Po could have a bazooka and do most of the killing, as her heart told her too, as long as she wore her floppy hat. To keep her innocence, of course.

After that is was easy. They kept their strength up by feasting upon the flesh of humans and drinking the blood of their enemies. London never knew what hit it. After London, they took on Britain. And after Britain, the world.

**Author's Note:**

> THIS ONLY EXISTS AS A TRIBUTE TO THE TELETUBBIES BECAUSE THEY WERE MY FAVORITE THING EVER WHEN I WAS LITTLE AND WERE OBVIOUSLY SOME KIND OF LAB EXPERIMENT.


End file.
